The Dad Phenomenon

Anyone that took CHM 100 in colle

ge or was a nerd and took AP classes in high school, understands the concept of a triple point. The triple point is a rare occurrence, when at the right temperature and pressure a substance can exist as a solid liquid and gas all at once.

The dad bod phenomenon is the triple point of male attractiveness.Where financial stability, personality/charisma/x-factor, and sex appeal intersect. A “Dad Bod” is someone that possessed just the minimal amounts of those traits and was able to convince a girl to let them not pull out and stick around . All other people fall outside this point, and are in other areas these intersecting traits.

It is important to note that each individual girl has a unique triple point with different sets of values. Some might value attractiveness over financial stability or vice versa. Luckily for ugly guys, X-factor is equal to attractiveness because often where one is lacking it can be made up for by the other. Just think about when you see a girl with a guy and you can’t really understand why. Other scientists may refer to this X-factor as charisma or personality. In today's vernacular it has become to be known as “Big Dick Energy”. In simple terms it is how someone carries themselves. It can be very hard to describe individually, you just know it when you see it.

The graph that we are looking at today describes the ideal man for a woman that is willing to settle for a man that has a financial stability score of 6.5, attractiveness and X- factor avg out to a value of 5. Though the triple point may move the areas labeled will remain relative to the triple point. As we breakdown the example graph I will refer to the imaginary woman that this graph represents as Diane.

Let’s break down the area on this example graph, that all men dread the most. It is properly labeled as F.Z. on the graph for friend zone. The F.Z. has a wide variety of characters that can fall into it. Those that are found in the FZ have a looks value < 5 and a financial stability value < 6.5. Men found is this zone do not possess the looks nor charisma to illicit a sexual response from Diane. Someone in this area will however be the one she complains about her BF which most likely falls in the ONS (we will get to that definition later) area of the graph. Most guys fall in this zone with most of the girls they are friends with and it is almost impossible to escape without taking drastic measures.

The next area of the graph I would like to discuss is the area labeled as ONS. To Diane an individual that possess a looks/X-factor matrix > 5 but a financial stability score < 6.5. Some of you may have deduced ONS stands for one night stand. But that is not the only form that individual in this quadrant may take. In some cases a female may get confused with a guy found in this quadrant because of the high levels of attractiveness/“Big Dick Energy”. Which can result in short to medium length, but almost ugly or toxic relationships. Males in this quadrant are often the rivals of males found in the friend zone. However, neither are in a great position.

Next we have a very simple quadrant to explain. The SD quadrant. SD stands for Sugar Daddy. In the case of hypothetical Diane this is a male that possess a financial stability score > 6.5 but an attractiveness/X-factor index < 5. This has always been a powerful quadrant to be in, especially with the growth of Instagram butt models and the growth of females selling feet pics. However it can be a dangerous one as in some cases in order to secure a sugar daddy a female may lie about being on birth control and may attempt to trap a sugar daddy with a kid. It almost always turns out ugly. It often results in the male losing half of his possessions. The only perks of this is that it keeps a steady flow of work for divorce lawyers and usually doubles the amount of Christmases for a small population of children.

The last quadrant to describe is the BC or Bradley Cooper quadrant. These guys found here are unicorns they can do everything. Look good, act, be funny, sing, basically all famous people. But let's remember one of our early lessons. A female’s triple point is relative and always changing. To some other very attractive talented female Bradley just has a dad bod. We know it wasn’t Jennifer Esposito maybe it Lady Gaga we and Bradley don’t know. And that brings to our last and final lesson.

So the mystery of the triple point is we or really even the people involved cannot pinpoint the triple points of specific females. It's kind of like quantum mechanics, in the sense that as we go to measure or observe the triple point of an individual it changes and becomes unpredictable the next time you observe it. The issue of the triple point is that it is realized when it is too late. Kids have already been made, both female and male parties involved have begun to let themselves go. If the relationship does go sour the parties involved have spent too long out of the game and still have the expectations that they had before they got tangled up in the Dad Bod Phenomenon. The reasonable and socially acceptable thing to do is raise the kids and mail it in until the kids are off to college.